Life

It just isn't working out for me right now. I'm confused, hurt, angry, and depressed. Mom and dad aren't arguing or anyhting but I am staying at dad's for a week or so because mom's van isn't working. It's really going to be difficult for me because I'm getting short on cash and I have to walk my route all this week. Not to mention, I'll be without mom and she is short on cash too. Yeah, things aren't easy like I want them to be. Not to mention Kelc is really pissed off at me. I tried to tell her how I felt and what's going on, and she still cares about herself. I want to be her best friend... I am her best friend, but slowly she's pushing me away. I tell her my plans never work out. With Nate and I they barely work and with Kelc and I, I want them to work. I love Kelc like she's my sis and she won't even give me time to get my life straightened out. I'm still really upset that the van broke down and I can't be with mom. At least dad still has the computer so I will get to talk to my friends online and catch up on some things. Right now I'm pretty sick and tired of what has been going on. My life is just so different now and everything is going downhill. Well, not like it hasn't before but this is just completly different from my past. Nate and I are still a good couple. Wed still love eachothjer with all our heart. It's just that Kelcey is actually jealous of me and she wants the relationship like I have. I want her to be somewhat happier then she is now because I hate to see her hurt like this. Now I am hurt over it and It'll just stress me out more. I don't need this right now. If she wants to be mad at me because I told her how I felt, then there isn't really anything else I can do... I mean, I know her life must have been way worse then mine. She told me alot. But that doesn't mean that you add on more stress to your best friend.... Who knows, she probly hates my guts by now. I'm really sorry this happened between me and her but she doesn't understand that Nate keeps me together. Not to mention, my plans always get screwed up. basically, nothing ever works for me til the last minute. Friday I really wanted her to stay with me; mom said no. Saturday, she was busy when I wasn't; and mom said no again because the van broke down. And finally, sunday we still didn't have the van and I did not know when dad was goign to pick me up. Things are hard right now, I want Kelcey to get that... If she doesn't...I dunno what else to do.